I have lots of great posts for you this week. Considering that this Thursday is Valentines Day, I have based a few of my posts around the theme of love and hearts. Pretty much anything that has to do with Valentine’s Day.
But, for today’s post I have something a little different.
I am writing from bed today. Unfortunately, I think I picked something up over the weekend, because when I woke up this morning, lets just say, I did not feel or look pretty.
I really dislike days like this. For one, I hate feeling sick, and two, I always feel unproductive, because I just lay in bed all day doing nothing and I hate doing nothing. It makes me feel lazy. I guess my body does need the rest though. This way I can start tomorrow where I left off and hopefully make up for lost time.
At least I got to catch up on some of my blog posts for the week. I wanted to share something with you all today in hopes that I can be of some encouragement.
For those of you who do not know me, I have a brother who was adopted. He was handed over to my mother on March 9, 1995 in the delivery room of a hospital in Prince George. Seven days later, my mother, carrying her new 7 pound bundle of joy, flew home to New Jersey.
Fast forward now to June of 2011, my brother is 16 years old and is applying for a US passport. You can imagine the look on his face and my mothers when the application was sent back and denied.
Apparently, my brother is not a United States citizen. After 16 years of living here with my parents, and going to school here, my brother is not a US citizen.
How can this be?
We all questioned it with disbelief.
The notice stated that there was no proof of lawful admission into the United States 16 years ago when my mother brought him across the border from Canada.
We didn’t understand. Frustration, fear, anger, panic, you name it, we felt it!!
The next several months were even more frustrating for my parents. For whatever reason, they kept coming up to a dead end, with no answers.
Eventually, I hate to say it, but the effort to try and straighten things out, got pushed to the side, because of some other unfortunate events. (That’s a whole other topic for a different day. Hopefully, I will be able to share when I’m ready).
Anyways, fast forward again, to 1 week ago, my brother is now 1 month away from turning 18, and still this problem has not been resolved. I take a leap of faith and post something onto Facebook. A plea of help you might say, asking if there is anyone who knows of someone, who might be able to help. Within minutes, I receive a message from a friend with some very helpful information. I contact this lawyer that was referred to me and set up an appointment to come in and meet with him.
Hope for my brother starts to grow.
My brother and I, pull up to the lawyers office, papers in hand, ready to have our questions answered and finally find some resolution.
It is important for me to state here, that I have been reading this book by Lysa TerKeurst, called Unglued. I have been learning how to not let myself lose it when faced with difficult situations. It’s not easy, but her words are inspiring and very encouraging and I have hope that I can handle these future situations with wisdom and love, without fear and worry.
Now, back to our appointment with the immigration lawyer. We sit down and he begins to review the papers we brought. Silence fills the room for what seems like forever and then he begins to talk.
It was not what I wanted to hear.
Never mind the fact that the lawyer said he was confident that he could fix this for us and take care of it all before my brother turned 18 and started accruing illegal time in the US. Nope, all I heard was $4,000.00.
Yup, you read that correctly. I did not mess up my decimal points.
Four Thousand Dollars.
I could feel the tears building behind my eyes. My palms started to sweat. My heart started to pound with fear, and this was not really even my problem, but still I knew. I knew there was no way my parents were going to be able to afford this and instantly my heart began to hurt for my brother.
But then I felt it. That little voice. That little voice from up above reminding me of this book I have been reading and studying. I realized that right then and there I had a choice. I could choose to let those tears of anger and worry and fear come rushing out and show my unglued, can’t hold it together, doubtful side. Not to mention the embarrassment my brother probably would have felt, or…..
I could choose to trust in Him. I could choose to shut the devil out and not let any of these emotions run wild. I could do it, but it would have to be right now, if I wait any longer, it will be too late. I will have given Satan that edge he needs, instead of letting my God do His work.
So I chose God, and for about one minute, I completely blocked out whatever it was that the lawyer and my brother were saying, and I said a quick prayer. “God, I choose not to worry about this. I choose not to let this fear cripple my faith. I choose to trust in You for Your purpose in this, and whatever the outcome, I know Your will, will be done!”.
Friends, can I tell you, the fear vanished, the tears dried up, and a peace that I can’t explain washed over me and I knew everything was going to be okay. God was in control. I decided to let Him do His job.
I remembered this quote from Lysa’s book,
“My job is to be obedient to God, to apply His Word, and to walk according to His ways — not according to the world’s suggestions”.
The world might suggest that it is okay to get angry about this and worry, after all, 4,000.00 is not cheap.
But for whatever reason, God allowed this to occur, and I am believing that it is part of a greater plan that I don’t know about, and if I chose fear and worry and allow myself to become unglued in this situation, I am not letting God fulfill His plan and do His job.
Holley Gerth asks, “What is your God sized dream?”
Well, if any of you read my post a few weeks ago about my God sized dream, I stated that it was to seek Him first and to live righteously. To trust God for everything and to stop worrying. Then and only then, would He fulfill all of my other dreams. You see if I go around getting mad every time something doesn’t go my way, or get angry because someone won’t give me a refund for my return at the store and gets nasty with me, or let my emotions run wild with fear when someone tells me something I don’t want to hear, then I am not seeking Him first and living righteously.
And that is not my dream!
I am so glad that I choose Him that day last week. It really changed everything. I had a whole new perspective on this situation. I knew that no matter what the outcome, God was in control.
Friends, you have the choice as well. Next time you hear something from someone (the world’s suggestion) that you don’t like, choose Him. Trust in His Word, His promise, and choose not to let your emotions dictate your outcome.
This post is part of the series, Made It Through Mondays.
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